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Literature Text
"Building A Mystery"
***
"Hello, Doc."
Ratchet looked up. "Nightbeat. I'm glad you're back, we could use the help. I see you got some body modifications while chasing your 'mystery'?"
"Yes, that's why I'm here."
"Oh?"
Nightbeat opened his chestplate. Ratchet gaped, then started scanning. For a long moment he studied his readouts.
"Well?"
"According to my scanner... you have... the lost Matrix! I've only read about it before."
"Well, now you've seen it." Nightbeat said wryly.
"Hold on, I'm not sure. Because my scanner also says... you're dead."
Nightbeat closed the panel and smiled grimly. "Yes, that would also be an accurate observation..."
______________________
"Blowing Stuff Up is Safer, Too"
***
Astrotrain chugged along cheerfully. Blowing stuff up was fun, but sometimes it was nice just to ride the rails. Eventually he approached a tunnel opening in one of the area's mountains. There didn't seem to be another train coming through, so he kept going...
The resulting carnage was spectacular, debris nearly hitting two Autobots crouching out of sight nearby. One deactivated his holoemitter, a "Dead End" sign reappearing in front of solid rock now covered in Decepticon parts.
Sideswipe shook his head and offered a high-five. "That was just wrong."
Hound accepted the gesture. "I know, isn't it great?"
______________________
"Scientific Observations"
***
Perceptor transformed at the edge of the cliff, keeping himself the size of a human telescope. "All right, we shall conduct our survey here." Spike obediently looked through Perceptor's eyepiece.
"We shall begin at the left side of the city, mapping the landscape for the purpose of calculating optimal patrol deployment routes..." Perceptor lectured on for a while, until he realized that Spike was humming contentedly instead of listening.
"Spike?"
"Mmmmmm... er, uh, yes?"
"What is so mesmerizing?"
"Well... I, uh..."
"Spike..."
"I realized that... I can see Carly's bedroom window from here. Heh."
Perceptor sighed in long-suffering exasperation.
______________________
"Ark - A Text Adventure by Chromedome"
----------------------------------------
>N
You enter Medbay. There are many examination tables and cabinets with drawers. Ratchet is absent.
>OPEN LEFT CABINET DRAWER
Locked.
>USE SPIKE'S CREDIT CARD
You fiddle the tiny card around the lock until it trips. (+2) No alarm sounds.
>OPEN CABINET DRAWER
You see a Questionable Picture.
>TAKE PICTURE
There's a light sensor underneath. Oh, there's the alarm.
>SLAG
You soon will be...
>S
You run, but it's too late. Ratchet executes a perfect throw, and you gasp, "Urk," before collapsing with a wrench in your cerebral casing.
You are offline. You earned 57 points total. (L)oad, (R)estart, (Q)uit?
----------------------------------------
______________________
"Smile, You're On Candid Camera"
"There. All set now." Sandstorm jumped down from Arcee's quarters' ceiling... to find himself facing Springer, currently glowering with Octane trapped under one arm wrestling-style.
"Springer! We were just... installing... a new security system! Yes!"
"Oh, you also expect me to believe she'd ask you for 'security' help instead of me." Octane started protesting, but Springer's grip tightened further. Sandstorm merely looked sheepish. "Meet me in Ultra Magnus' office."
After releasing Octane and watching them leave, Springer studied the camera they'd installed. He then changed some settings, and left while whistling cheerfully. It just might have interesting uses later...
______________________
NEW - "Hazardous Materials Handling 101"
Skyfall paused from his lab reports to stretch, when he noticed Quickmix nearby lifting a container from the table towards his mouth. "Hold up!"
Quickmix paused, annoyed. "What?" Skyfall indicated the container's orange "hazardous materials" sticker. "Oh! Heh. I just use those to scare people from snitching my custom energon."
"How do you label your real hazardous stuff?"
"I use blue for that."
"Ah."
"Or..." Quickmix looked worried. "Actually... maybe it's blue for fake and orange for real. I used to use red stickers for real stuff, but they ran out of those, so I changed to... uh..."
Skyfall facepalmed.
______________________
***
"Hello, Doc."
Ratchet looked up. "Nightbeat. I'm glad you're back, we could use the help. I see you got some body modifications while chasing your 'mystery'?"
"Yes, that's why I'm here."
"Oh?"
Nightbeat opened his chestplate. Ratchet gaped, then started scanning. For a long moment he studied his readouts.
"Well?"
"According to my scanner... you have... the lost Matrix! I've only read about it before."
"Well, now you've seen it." Nightbeat said wryly.
"Hold on, I'm not sure. Because my scanner also says... you're dead."
Nightbeat closed the panel and smiled grimly. "Yes, that would also be an accurate observation..."
______________________
"Blowing Stuff Up is Safer, Too"
***
Astrotrain chugged along cheerfully. Blowing stuff up was fun, but sometimes it was nice just to ride the rails. Eventually he approached a tunnel opening in one of the area's mountains. There didn't seem to be another train coming through, so he kept going...
The resulting carnage was spectacular, debris nearly hitting two Autobots crouching out of sight nearby. One deactivated his holoemitter, a "Dead End" sign reappearing in front of solid rock now covered in Decepticon parts.
Sideswipe shook his head and offered a high-five. "That was just wrong."
Hound accepted the gesture. "I know, isn't it great?"
______________________
"Scientific Observations"
***
Perceptor transformed at the edge of the cliff, keeping himself the size of a human telescope. "All right, we shall conduct our survey here." Spike obediently looked through Perceptor's eyepiece.
"We shall begin at the left side of the city, mapping the landscape for the purpose of calculating optimal patrol deployment routes..." Perceptor lectured on for a while, until he realized that Spike was humming contentedly instead of listening.
"Spike?"
"Mmmmmm... er, uh, yes?"
"What is so mesmerizing?"
"Well... I, uh..."
"Spike..."
"I realized that... I can see Carly's bedroom window from here. Heh."
Perceptor sighed in long-suffering exasperation.
______________________
"Ark - A Text Adventure by Chromedome"
----------------------------------------
>N
You enter Medbay. There are many examination tables and cabinets with drawers. Ratchet is absent.
>OPEN LEFT CABINET DRAWER
Locked.
>USE SPIKE'S CREDIT CARD
You fiddle the tiny card around the lock until it trips. (+2) No alarm sounds.
>OPEN CABINET DRAWER
You see a Questionable Picture.
>TAKE PICTURE
There's a light sensor underneath. Oh, there's the alarm.
>SLAG
You soon will be...
>S
You run, but it's too late. Ratchet executes a perfect throw, and you gasp, "Urk," before collapsing with a wrench in your cerebral casing.
You are offline. You earned 57 points total. (L)oad, (R)estart, (Q)uit?
----------------------------------------
______________________
"Smile, You're On Candid Camera"
"There. All set now." Sandstorm jumped down from Arcee's quarters' ceiling... to find himself facing Springer, currently glowering with Octane trapped under one arm wrestling-style.
"Springer! We were just... installing... a new security system! Yes!"
"Oh, you also expect me to believe she'd ask you for 'security' help instead of me." Octane started protesting, but Springer's grip tightened further. Sandstorm merely looked sheepish. "Meet me in Ultra Magnus' office."
After releasing Octane and watching them leave, Springer studied the camera they'd installed. He then changed some settings, and left while whistling cheerfully. It just might have interesting uses later...
______________________
NEW - "Hazardous Materials Handling 101"
Skyfall paused from his lab reports to stretch, when he noticed Quickmix nearby lifting a container from the table towards his mouth. "Hold up!"
Quickmix paused, annoyed. "What?" Skyfall indicated the container's orange "hazardous materials" sticker. "Oh! Heh. I just use those to scare people from snitching my custom energon."
"How do you label your real hazardous stuff?"
"I use blue for that."
"Ah."
"Or..." Quickmix looked worried. "Actually... maybe it's blue for fake and orange for real. I used to use red stickers for real stuff, but they ran out of those, so I changed to... uh..."
Skyfall facepalmed.
______________________
Suggested Collections
Writing for all of the short story contests on the IDW forums in recent months has reminded me of how I kind of miss the days back on a Harry-Potter-related board I used to post at, where we often would have contests involving prompts for really short stories.
So I thought perhaps I'd have a little fun trying my hand at writing some Transformers drabbles (stories with exactly 100 words, for anyone not familiar with the concept). I'll add to this whenever I think up some more.
Side note: You should also read the great TF drabbles that the IDW folks have also been cooking up.
Individual notes:
"Building A Mystery": One of the art contests on the IDW boards involved making an existing character into a "Prime" and drawing his Matrix-upgraded form. Although I couldn't actually draw anything myself, the prompt kind of tickled me a bit... and this was one of the ideas I came up with. Makes the most sense if you've read the IDW comics...
"Blowing Stuff Up is Safer, Too": This idea came from one day I spent trying to think of "inappropriate uses for TF special abilities" just for the heck of it. It just seemed like an obvious prank for Hound's holograms...
"Scientific Observations": Yet another idea from the same brainstorming session. I mean... I admit that if I was a teenage boy, and I had a telescope that was accurate up to 2000 miles, I would be sorely tempted to do this sort of thing.
"Ark - A Text Adventure by Chromedome": Got this idea while reading this drabble on a website about the history of the drabble. And the "Questionable Picture" is a nod to "Comics In Disguise". (This article on text adventures might be of use to the uninitiated as well.)
"Smile, You're on Candid Camera": I could so picture Octane trying to do this to add to his "personal collection" (just gotta be amused by a TF who in canon has "pinup girlie" pictures...) and suckering Sandstorm into helping. I could also picture Springer deciding that he and Arcee might possibly put the unexpected installation to some use after all.
Latest addition: "Hazardous Materials Handling 101": Just a Transformers twist on an old lab student tactic.
So I thought perhaps I'd have a little fun trying my hand at writing some Transformers drabbles (stories with exactly 100 words, for anyone not familiar with the concept). I'll add to this whenever I think up some more.
Side note: You should also read the great TF drabbles that the IDW folks have also been cooking up.
Individual notes:
"Building A Mystery": One of the art contests on the IDW boards involved making an existing character into a "Prime" and drawing his Matrix-upgraded form. Although I couldn't actually draw anything myself, the prompt kind of tickled me a bit... and this was one of the ideas I came up with. Makes the most sense if you've read the IDW comics...
"Blowing Stuff Up is Safer, Too": This idea came from one day I spent trying to think of "inappropriate uses for TF special abilities" just for the heck of it. It just seemed like an obvious prank for Hound's holograms...
"Scientific Observations": Yet another idea from the same brainstorming session. I mean... I admit that if I was a teenage boy, and I had a telescope that was accurate up to 2000 miles, I would be sorely tempted to do this sort of thing.
"Ark - A Text Adventure by Chromedome": Got this idea while reading this drabble on a website about the history of the drabble. And the "Questionable Picture" is a nod to "Comics In Disguise".
(This article on text adventures might be of use to the uninitiated as well.)"Smile, You're on Candid Camera": I could so picture Octane trying to do this to add to his "personal collection" (just gotta be amused by a TF who in canon has "pinup girlie" pictures...) and suckering Sandstorm into helping. I could also picture Springer deciding that he and Arcee might possibly put the unexpected installation to some use after all.
Latest addition: "Hazardous Materials Handling 101": Just a Transformers twist on an old lab student tactic.
© 2008 - 2024 Jeysie
Comments20
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so bloody funny.