Fun With Space Quest Prompts

(Explain how the mistake with the Gippazoid Novelty Co. 'mail fraud' that Roger supposedly committed could have occured, leading to Roger being pursued in SQ's 3 and 5.)

Little did Roger realize that the whistle was a promotional gimmick, where accepting the whistle automatically signs you up for a non-cancellable subscription to:

"Mating Calls of the Universe!

Recorded over the millennia by trillions of scientists with nothing better to do, we now bring you this collection of words (squeaks, growls, and tweets) of woo from every species in the known universe and a few we just totally made up. Whether you need a little "private inspiration", or you need some new words of woo yourself for your significant other, this collection of <incredibly huge number that wouldn't fit in a standard-sized ad> volumes will allow you to enjoy:

• The intriguing buzzing noises of the Bjorn. (No, we don't understand how they mate either. Don't ask.)
• The delightful sucking sounds of the Keronian Tenticular Slimesucker. (Tentacles and mating are a classic combination.)
• The incredibly complex gnashing and grinding calls of the Labion Cave Beaver. (They always mate in the dark, after all...)
• The lovely siren call of the Latex Babes of Estros (Always a popular one!)
• The enlightening experience of Vulgars correcting each other's spelling and reciting math formulas at each other (Titillating *and* educational at the same time!)

And much, much, much <imagine several dozen more "muches" here so we can save ad space again> more! All this for the low, low cost of 50Bz per volume, including shipping and handling, delivered and billed once an hour until either all the volumes have been delivered or the subscriber dies (we're betting on the latter happening first)."

They got up to Volume #8042 (Bicranial Crudsnorter Jazz) before they realized that Roger just didn't seem to be paying off the bills. Not to mention that the maildroid was starting to find it hard to keep shoving the packages into the mail slot past the increasingly huge pileup on the other side.

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(What's a reason Blaine in SQ6 would've started the fight in the Orion Belt Bar (after Roger cubes the endodroid for him)?)

Blaine headed into the bar to promise the bartender he'd finally pay his gigantic tab just as soon as he got the bounty for his latest job.

As he set the Endodroid down on the counter to show the bartender as proof, however, one inebriated patron decided to crib a few of the "ice cubes" for his drink.

Blaine quickly snatched up the drink to try to save the patron from an organ-twisting doom (not to mention save his chances to collect his bounty), only to find out that the only thing more dangerous than dealing with an Endodroid is dealing with a drunk alien who thinks you've just stolen his beer.

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(Come up with a SQ universe reason (as in, not the real reason) why Roger's hair colour changes between certain games.)

Roger, engaging in a last bit of shopping before embarking on the Arcada, happened to come across a salesman advertising a clearance sale on 'Frogaine (TM) Hair-Gro gel for the low, low cost of only 100 Bz a crate!

Ever sensitive to the prevalence of male-pattern baldness in his family (though his uncle did get a lucrative gig as the spokesperson for the Mr. Sanitized commercials), he decided to pick up a couple crates.

The good news was that his hair became thicker as promised. The bad news was that it also became dark brown and rather sticky. Eh, well, he figured it was just some temporary side effects.

Little did Roger realize that the salesperson had accidentally ordered 100 crates of shoe polish due to a data entry error (he's never hiring from *that* temp agency again, that's for sure) and had to think of a way to sell the stuff quick.

In any case, once circumstances had caused Roger to lose the rest of his supply (having lost the first crate in the Arcada "incident", and his XOS4 boss having dumped the remainder of his last crate into space when Roger "abandoned his post"), the stuff eventually finally washed out. The bad news was that his hair was no longer thick. The good news was that it was now blond and unsticky again, and the ladies (or at least Beatrice and Stellar) seemed to like it anyway...

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(Describe a way in which Roger could have got Zondra as a girlfriend in the SQ10 time period.)

Roger, being the ever faithful husband that he is (mostly due to fear of Beatrice showing him what his internal organs look like if he ever cheats), would never actually have a dalliance with the lovely Latex Babes.

However, his teenage son, who bears an uncanny resemblance to him thanks to convenient genetics, and had just survived an encounter with a mad happening high school senior graduation party, a case of Keronian Ale, a joyride with some pals in a pilfered personal spaceship, and a crash-landing on a planet full of beautiful (and slightly desperate) Babes... well, he just might. With a little prompting from his friends (and a dropping of the "Junior", because that's just totally uncool...)

There was a stern talking to, and a grounding of an incredibly long duration (not to mention vows of confiscation of allowance and paychecks for the next couple of decades to pay for the fines and legal fees). Of course, a couple years later... well, the future's history, right?